legsdemandias:
legsdemandias:
Im not a parent, but I know that so many issues with kids misbehaving could be solved by giving them a simple task to complete instead of just yelling “stop” until they cry
Over the summer I went to an art museum with my S/O and their son (age 10). The son wasn’t as engaged as we’d hoped, but also we probably should have known.
He whined about and my S/O said “we went to legoland for you, this is for us adults” which is fine, but that didn’t stop him from whining about.
Immediately jumping into teacher mode, I pulled out my notebook and a pen and I said “hey, every time we stop to look at a painting for a while, I want you to draw it.” He didn’t draw a single picture. I showed him how to do it, still didn’t draw a single picture…but he also stopped whining. He couldn’t complete the task, but his focus was taken away from “I don’t want to be here” and was transferred to “what does this image look like? how can i draw this”
It doesn’t always work, but it teaches kid to channel energy and focus instead of wondering what “stop” means. Because “stop” really means “do something else”.
YES OP!!!!
So many parents don’t realize their kids are BORED! That they have the same feelings and worries that you as an adult do, and that giving them an engaging task actually helps them change the behavior you have a problem with.
One of the first lessons I learned about teaching when I worked as an aide at my religious school was not to tell kids to “stop” running or “stop yelling” but to phrase things in the positive. For example - Stop running becomes “Please walk.” No yelling becomes “Use an inside voice.” This turns the request/rule into a positive action they can think about, rather than a way to shut down a negative.
Similarly, the reason so many kids use their parents phones is 1) they see you doing it all day, and they want to be like you. 2) they are BORED, and just like when YOU are bored they know the magic rectangle has entertainment. 3) parents literally forget they can make sure their kids have other forms of entertainment available.
I’m talking about your kid having a book to read, a note pad to write or draw in, small dolls or toys to play and fidget with. My mom never left the house without a bag of crayons in her purse and a little notebook. That way if we kids forgot to bring something to do and we’re feeling antsy we would always have something to channel out energy into.
This post makes me think about the time I was on the train and there was a family of four sitting in front of me and my partner. The boy was reading a books but the girl was whining about being bored and asking for one of her parents phones. They kept just saying no and not offering to engage her in any other way. Half out of a desire to help and half out of not feeling like listening to her whine I offered to let her doodle in the sketch book that I had brought along with me (my mother trained me well).
Y’all. Her eyes lit UP! What could have been an agonizing 45 minute ride for so many people turned into a moment of joy for her parents, for her and her brother, and for me. I really just can’t stand people who have nothing better to do than hate on kids when literally all they need sometime is someone to step up and care about them and their needs.
This got long, but the point is finding ways to help kids and young people find the joy is sometimes so easy, and remember: if you’re bored, they might be too.
